the best muffin recipes come from drunk girls

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
butchprinxe
firesuns:
“ spirituallyminded:
“ It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was...
spirituallyminded

It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.

“Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh.

“Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.

“We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”

Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”

Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.

Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”

“Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.” And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.

Because Pooh and Piglet were There. No more; no less.

~ Kathryn Wallace

firesuns

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sweetlikecherrycola
florapatite:
“ rainbow-quartz-hates-terfs:
“ sassy-echidna:
“Aka men on the bachelor have no taste
”
I don’t know what generic ass white man they had on but she was too good for him anyway
”
no but you don’t get it, the reason for the sloth costume...
sassy-echidna

Aka men on the bachelor have no taste

rainbow-quartz-hates-terfs

I don’t know what generic ass white man they had on but she was too good for him anyway

florapatite

no but you don’t get it, the reason for the sloth costume is that the bachelors big thing about him is he’s a virgin (i know it’s ridiculous). so she comes out of this god damn limo slowly flailing about and goes, “heeeeeellllooooooo. i heeeeeaaaaard yoooooou liiiiiiiike tooooo taaaaaake iiiiit slooooooooooooooooow” and it was the best thing i’ve ever seen on the bachelor and he definitely didnt deserve her